ASB the Fourth: In which we learn that some reflective surfaces are not conducive to selfies

They say there is nothing better then the love of a good woman. They also say Dog is man's best friends. Well as our new contributor, Baldy, has discovered, proverbs don’t always apply in combination with one another.

You might call this an onslaught of affection.

Everybody loves a balloon, but, as these submitters, Army buddies I’m nicknaming Los Tres Amigos del Fuego, learned they do not make very flattering mirrors. Honestly though ladies they are all very attractive and virile young men in real life. Especially the one with the camera, he’s a straight up stud.

(I'm the one with the camera!)

Great people of the Internet, I present you with a challenge: Join me in this project, by sending in your own Awkward Selfie Submissions (ASS). It's fun, I promise. Send your ASS’ with a brief description to jokermusicblog@gmail.com. If our staff… meaning me, thinks your selfie is funny enough for the blog, you can expect to become Internet-famous in no time!

The Third Edition: Prevent suicide: make a dentist laugh and I hate Jim

         As we learned in the historical documentary, The Whole 9 Yards, dentists have one of the highest suicide rates in the world. On my last visit to the dentist I figured I should do my part to stave off her eminent demise for a few more days by taking an Awkward Selfie. It worked… sort of. She thought I was very funny, which made her laugh. The laughing made her shake and the shaking… well lets just say I’m not dedicated enough to photograph myself crying with a mouthful of blood… Still, I got a good picture out of it!

Seeing as me crying made her cry, maybe this endeavor had the opposite effect then I was hoping.

This one, I’m told, was taken by a new Awkward Selfie Submitter at a place called the Jim… Correction, I’ve just been told its spelled G Y M. What a weird way to spell Torture Chamber. Anyway, I’m not sure how awkward this one is to anyone but me… but the prospect of physical exercise makes me very uncomfortable.

I think the term is "pumping iron," but I could be wrong.

I want to thank new submitter, hear after know as Gym Girl for her submission. As for all of you other folks out there on the inter web, join the party! Snap a pic as you puke on a roller coaster, or while your mom screams at you to clean your room, the possibilities for uncomfortable photographs are truly endless. Send your Awkward Selfie Submissions to Jokermusicblog@gmail.com and bask in the wonderfulness that is internet fame.

Episode 2: Strike of the Ninja Baby

In this, our second edition of the Awkward Selfie Blog, I’d like to introduce all of you to Ninja Baby.

With the stealth of a prowling puma, this pint-sized Samurai deftly sneaks into mommy’s purse, not for hard candy or strawberry Chap Stick, but for her cell phone. I’m assuming he sent this pic to the cute little redheaded 4-year-old at his daycare. Who could resist those baby blues?

That younger generation man… they’re coming out of the womb with a better understanding of technology then I ever will.

DISCLAIMER: The staff at the Awkward Selfie Blog would like to point out that we do indeed know the difference between Ninjas and Samurai. The author of this submission’s unhealthy attachment to alliterations often leads to factual inaccuracies. We apologize to the followers of the noble Shogun philosophy and practitioners of the mysteries of ninjutsu alike.

Also, here’s a picture of me being an idiot.

The look of shame on your face as you shove a fourth frozen burrito in your mouth.

Now remember folks, we are still looking for more Awkward Selfie Submission's. Show us your ASS'! Put yourself in a compromising position then photograph it for all the world to see. Are you getting chased by a pack of wild dogs? Selfie! did you accidentally wear your KKK to a Kanye West Show? Snap a pic while the mob tears you to ribbons! 

Send all submissions to jokermusicblog@gmail.com.